A different kind of Olympics

by PaperPuff

Are you watching, and enjoying the Olympic Games? I have always loved them – all that endeavour and grit, toil and skill. I have huge admiration for every single individual that makes it to the Games, as well as those that miss out, or those that just get motivated enough to go for a run or swim. You are all marvellous.

However, we are not all Olympic material, but nowadays it would seem that any kind of exclusion is not allowed. At school team sports are in, individual success is out. All can join in, and pretty much everybody wins something. So, if those are the new rules of competition, why not apply them to all of us? This means (stretching it a little) that you, me, and everyone else should be allowed to enter the Olympics, if we want, right? Brilliant. Can’t wait. Except I don’t want to have to train….and I am no spring chicken…and a ‘no mascara’ day will never happen…also I am (probably) allergic to lycra…the list goes on.

But I have RIGHTS! There has to be an Olympics for me. So, quick ponder, what are my skills? What would my event be? I should probably give such a major decision a tiny bit more consideration (I had this idea about 15 minutes ago), but I am thinking my events (yep, going for a Michael Phelps multi-medalling feat) would be:

Random word association

Sarcasm

Most pairs of shoes worn in a day

I am nodding my head, pretty confident here that I can do rather well in my chosen disciplines.

So, what would your Olympics event(s) be? You can choose anything. Dog-walking, shoe-polishing, speed ironing or apron-folding, it doesn’t matter. Pick those you can win and live the dream!

 

 

61 thoughts on “A different kind of Olympics”

  1. I am not enjoying the Olympics as much because we have commentators that dumb down the sport and explain nothing nor do they let the expert say anything remotely technical that would educate the public. Arrrghh! I guess my Olympic sport is picking apart of the NBC commentator’s (who have actually said they don’t need to learn about the sport) ignorant and borderline shovanist comments.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

    1. I know what you mean. Sometimes the commentators drive me mad, but we have some really knowledgeable ones too, and some that are quite funny. Funny is always good!

      Like

      Reply

  2. I actually came up with an idea, for a Blogger Olympics, the beginning of this month. I have so many other things going on that I had to put a pin in it. So maybe next Olympics I’ll have time to do it justice. 😀

    Liked by 5 people

    Reply

    1. Oh, that is a genius idea. You must, must do it. I’d read everything. But four years to wait?! Perhaps you could time it with the Winter Olympics, or just have a Blogger Olympics year in 2017? Or October? No pressure…:-)

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      2. You are a dusting tsar! But wait, how does the quality of dusting get judged? If you have missed a bit, but the duster baton has been passed on…?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Individual penalty point, if more than a certain amount is incurred, then a time fault, perhaps. Depending on the quality of the dusting, for example, yellow dusters run faster than microfibre ones- an individual adjudicator should be present…

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Who knew dusting would throw up such technical issues? How will the adjudicator manage? You will need one per team, and then maybe their speed will be an issue? Or bone of contention. There may be more to Olympics planning that I thought…

        Liked by 3 people

      5. And don’t forget you have to take all these things into consideration for each individual event…perhaps a certain area to be dusted within a certain time limit? A committee is needed, headed by Barry Scott-he of Cillit Bang fame-for the cleaning section…one of the judges from “The Great British Sewing Bee” for the craft section..and Mary Berry!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Ok. I think we need Barry (Cillit Bang Man) to invent a spray that we apply to the DA (Dusting Area, sounds better with an acronym) which clearly indicates the DQ (Dusting Quality). Points for execution, like gymnastics. Ooh, just thought…synchronised dusting? Like swimming, but with…dust..

        Liked by 3 people

      7. YES! Love your thinking! Can really see this taking shape…you know the how many shoes event…flats or heels? Laces or slip-ons? Equal amount of all styles? Would you have to walk a certain distance…hope someone’s taking notes…

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Well, I want an event I can win, so zero competition is required. Am thinking maybe a Cinderella-ish contest. Perhaps a couple of 6’6 drag queens trying on my size 3s for the medal should do it?

        Liked by 1 person

      9. You have size 3 feet? And the average drag queen would have at least an 8…I think at least in the Olympic spirit there should be a size 6 provided…but the inventor of each event should have an automatic medal anyway…

        Liked by 2 people

  6. I’m not competitive at all and afraid of making mistakes. Ah, if there were some medals for mistakes… It would have probably changed something for me… Do I need to go back to school for this?)
    I used to take swimming lessons 2 hours a day and 6 days a week when I was about 10 or 11 years old… And it was fun until I got 6th place in my first competition… Now my training looks more like doing one plank a month)
    I think my Olympics event would be – searching for details

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. All good! It is your Olympic event so it can be anything you want. Mistake making is a good one, I think, although again, the competition may be fierce. Searching for details sounds promising!

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

    1. I had to google that, but now I know exactly what you mean. Never knew there was a name for it. I am guessing you would be a major medal contender!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  9. I sat and I wondered and puzzled and thought,
    but things I’m good at all came to a nought!
    So I decided I couldn’t compete in these games.
    I’m useless at everything. Obviously have no aims!

    But before I was ready to admit defeat,
    I wanted one last chance of being an Athlete!
    So I asked Mr. Cobs if he could think,
    if there was anything I was good at? He turned and gave a wink.

    He thought for a moment, then said with a smile,
    “There’s one thing you’re good at. You’d win by a mile!”
    “You can tell stories!” (with aplomb he offered this decision).
    And I furrowed my brow as I pondered his vision.

    “By ‘Tell Stories’ Mr., are you saying I tell lies?”
    And looking for clues, I stared deep into his eyes.
    “Nooo, not lies, I mean you are . . . eloquent!,
    You paint stories with words and are most elegant.”

    So he says I’m a story teller of elegant tales
    And he said I give stories such lovely details.
    Personally I think I’m better at silly poetry
    But perhaps you won’t agree with me.

    I tell you what, I’ll be the ice cream seller.
    And as I serve Ice Cream, I’ll be a tale teller.
    I’ll tell of why I wasn’t quite good enough,
    To be an athlete in the Olympics de PaperPuff!

    🙂 🙂 😉

    Sending squidges ~ C ❤ bs. x

    Liked by 7 people

    Reply

    2. I was in the blog of Chicken Grandma when I pushed the link to your blog that she posted. My Olympic Gold would be won for the competition: “Following my husband around constantly, and cleaning up after him!” I do not wish my house to look like his messy, cluttered shop. Lol

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  11. How do you follow that! Very well done, Gold Medal Achieved Cobs! For me I would defintiely win the workoholics medal, always racing around from one thing to another, like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland! Must dash……:) x

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  12. Oh! My! Word! I read this to my husband but I was laughing so hard I could hardly get the words out. My husband has decided he would like to enter the fingernail clipping event (not the toenail clipping because he is almost 60 and less bendy than he used to be).
    I think I would like to enter the can’t make up my mind….no wait…..ummm….maybe….no not that either……

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  13. Hmmm….now let me think about this one…..maybe I would could enter the multi-tasking….or laughing???? or maybe sdrawkcab gnitirw???? (did you figure this one out????) LOL? Anything fun or to bring a chuckle, and I’m in!

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply
  14. Pingback: Olympic Events…..Or Not – The Chicken Grandma

    1. This was such a lovely surprise – thanks for the shout out – I had quite a few visitors via your blog today!
      It’s funny what becomes a family tradition, isn’t it? We used to have an annual barbecue, and as it got dark the game became to run the perimeter of the garden without setting off the motion-sensitive lights on the house. Maybe I could try that for the Olympics… cat burglar skills..

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  17. My husband and I would like to enter the “starting home improvement/maintenance projects” event (note: we would lose the “finishing home improvement/maintenance projects” event). And if I were more with-it, I’d be participating in Ravelry’s version of the Olympics – the Ravellenics Games. (They used to be the Ravolympics, but the US Olympic committee threatened legal action for trademark infringement.) There are events for all sorts of knitting, crochet, and spinning projects.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Useful information – I don’t think I can afford a lawsuit! Seriously though, what is wrong with a bit of fun? They still got their event promoted. Anyway in these Olympics, completion of tasks is totally optional, so you can start 100 projects, finish nothing and still win!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  18. Thanks to The Chicken Grandma, I am here too! I have been giving these Olympic Games considerable thought. I’m a shoe-in for weed-whackin’ and tick pickin’. I’m hoping there will not be too many entries in the tick pickin’ category this year, so I’m sure to have this gold plucked!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  20. Just watching the Olympics is sport enough for me. I enjoy most of the events I understand and I love rooting for the home team but I applaud anyone who tries. I can’t think of anything I could do there except answer their phones for them. ha-ha.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Pop-tart eating could also qualify as a dangerous sport I think. I’m sure there has been many a burnt finger or blistered lip caused. Thanks for commenting!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a reply to PaperPuff Cancel reply